Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in xander6464's InsaneJournal:

Saturday, January 19th, 2008
5:36 pm	First JC, Now Ringo Why am I continually being snubbed by big celebrities? In the beginning, it was JC. Now it's Ringo. First, I don't get to go to Vegas to fight pornography with JC and now, I don't get to go see Ringo in concert. Unless I go somewhere fun and exciting. Yeah, you aren't going to believe this, but Ringo isn't going to be appearing at the Mark Of The Quad Cities (http://www.iwirelesscenter.com/)...oh yeah, it's official name now is the u unwired center or something equally stupid but I refuse to call it that, even though The Mark was a stupid name, too...on his latest tour. Here, look: In the Summer of 2006, Ringo and his 9th All-Starr band brought peace and love on a 27-date summer tour. Here's a look at the band and that tour! 14-June Toronto, Canada Casino Rama 15-June Toronto, Canada Casino Rama 16-June Clarkson, MI DTE Energy Music Theatre 17-June Chicago, IL Rosemont Theatre 21-June Santa Rosa, CA Wells Fargo Center for the Arts 23-June Sacramento, CA Cache Creek Casino 24-June Universal City, CA Gibson Ampitheater 25-June Palm Springs, CA Fantasy Springs Auditorium 27-June Livermore, CA Wente Vineyards 28-June Pala, CA Pala Casino 29-June San Diego, CA Humphreys Concerts by the Bay 1-July Las Vegas, NV Mandalay Bay Resort 2-July Albuquerque, NM Sandia Casino 3-July Grand Prairie, TX Nokia Theatre 7-July Clearwater, FL Ruth Eckard Hall 8-July Boca Raton, FL Mizner Amphitheatre 9-July Melbourne, FL King Center http://www.ringostarr.com/tour.php So, the closest he's going to be to here is Chicago. That's quite a shock. But the real shock is that there are no East Coast dates, except for Florida. There must be a second leg of this tour coming up that they aren't talking about. I wouldn't be suspicious if Madison Square Garden were on this list. So that's it. We have to leave town to see him. So, I guess what I have to do is obvious. I have to call JC and convince him to coordinate the Nevada Brothel Tour around Ringo's July 1 Las Vegas appearance. We can save the world from sex AND rock and roll, all in one shot. You know, if Satan were this efficient, he would be winning. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: The Randi Rhodes Show-----Friday, January 18th, 2008 (Comment on this)
1:00 pm	A Lesser Man Might Have Been Temptised! I should be upset but I'm not. JC took twenty people with him to Vegas to protest the big porn convention...I think it was the Adult Video Awards but I'm not sure about that. Anyway, it was some sort of massive debauchery Fest, that was debaucherous even by Vegas standards and he took twenty people with him in his Portable Compound. You know what the Portable Compound is, don't you? It's a tour bus that would make any rock star envious....well, the ones who use buses would be envious, the ones who have their own jets wouldn't be. So that's JC's next obvious step, to get his own plane. He'll still need his bus though, because he does a lot of fund raising appearances in small town churches and limos are so uncomfortable. And undignified. God's Ten Star General In The War On Media Pornography needs a big super luxurious tour bus. Before he goes out and shops for an airplane, though, he has to get well. It seems that I'm not the only one who's a little too old for all the rich food, drugs, booze and hookers that come with being one of God's top generals. He sounded like he's recovering from the world's biggest hangover. And that brings me back to my original topic, which is that I should be mad because he didn't stop and pick me up before he went to Vegas. I should be recovering from a hangover like that right now. But, as I said, I'm not mad, even though I should be. Even though they even stopped at The Chicken Ranch (http://chickenranchbrothel.com/index.php), for God's sake! I should have been on that trip! I could have been a huge help in saving the world from pornography. But my righteous anger has been quelled by the fact that JC took the time to call in, despite being under the weather, and it was one of his best calls ever. Besides, I know that when he goes to the rest of the brothels in Nevada...to convince the Godless Heathens to change their ways...he's going to take me with him. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Art Bell, WOC AM 1420 (Comment on this)
Friday, January 18th, 2008
3:49 pm	It's Friday, You Bastards I have a horrible confession to make. But first, I want to explain that it wasn't my fault. If this were a courtroom and you were on the jury, you could not convict, because the gloves don't fit! And if you were the judge, you would feel compelled to censure the prosecutor and recommend to the State Bar Association that he or she be disbarred immediately. Unless your a conservative judge, in which case you would just have him or her led directly to the gas chamber and the problem would be over in seven minutes. OK, now that we have that out of the way and you know that I am in no way at fault, let's get to the confession of this really really horrible thing I did. I used my time machine to go the future. Which is a perfectly moral, legal and ethical use of a time machine. In fact, there is no law against doing anything with a time machine. You can go wherever you want and do whatever you want, according to the law. But the problem with that is that laws are right sometimes...making an act illegal or legal doesn't make it right or wrong. Sometimes it works that way but it's a very hit or miss system. That's why morals and ethics are so important. And that's the problem I have right now. Morally and ethically, I did something very very wrong...but it wasn't my fault. You see, I went to the year 2137, and there is nothing morally or ethically wrong with that (Going into the future). As long as you don't poke around too much, because then it's like unwrapping a Christmas present. And that's what I did today. Not on purpose, mind you. Remember that. I am not to blame. I am completely innocent. All I did was to go 130 years into the future to visit my own grave. I love doing that. They set up this awesome holographic display when I died and it's a blast to watch me speculate about life and life after death from beyond the grave...as envisioned by those I left behind...while I'm still alive. So far so good. Nothing immoral or unethical yet. But then, after enjoying the cemetery for a while, I decided to go for a drive since it was such a nice day. I ended up downtown and this is where the tawdry unethical and immoral part comes in. Before I get to that, though, I have to explain that I'm going to become purposely vague from here on out because I don't want to be blamed for enticing a bunch of you impressionable kids into jumping into your parents' time machines to go joy riding in the future. So there I was, downtown in...um, Bigtown...let's just call it that, and I saw this electronics store and I went in. You can imagine what happens next, I don't have to give you all the gory details. But it doesn't end there. It gets worse. How worse? You can't imagine this, so I'll just tell you. I brought back a jet pack. Yes, I know we have had jet packs here since since about 1959 but this one is so different that it really isn't even the same thing. It's the same size and weight as my cell phone and it's solar powered. The model I bought will lift an average sized person to 3000 feet and travel at up to 85 miles an hour. It works through a mental interface that I don't even begin to understand. You clip it to your belt or stick it in your pocket and turn it on. Then you just think, "five feet up," or whatever you want and bam! You are five feet in the air. Then you think forward or reverse and how fast you want to go. Or, you can use the autopilot feature, which works by simply thinking of a destination and it will take you there as fast or slow and as high or low as you want, while avoiding all obstacles. Talk about fun. This little gadget personifies fun. But it's wrong to have one before they are invented. I feel very bad about having it. But, I'm not getting rid of it. Since it isn't my fault that I have it. It is the fault of The Sharper...um, The Sharper Unnamed So As To Not Make This Easy For Anyone Else That Might be Tempted Future Store That I Went to. They are the ones who put them in the window! I am the victim of advertising! But, I confessed anyway, and I feel much better now. And, even more than that, I am doing the right thing by showing you what happens when you abuse time travel. Don't let this happen to you. When you visit the future, avoid temptation and, just in case that doesn't work, leave your credit cards at home! Current Mood: cold Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----Thursday January 17th, 2008 (Comment on this)
1:39 am	It's Friday, You Bastards, Early Edition Q. What is your salad dressing of choice? A. French. But I have a real problem with the name. I think it should be called French Undressing. Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? A. Wattaburger, but we don't have any of them here, so I'll say Burger King. Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? A. Hooters Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? A. I can't do math so I leave whatever whoever I'm with tells me to leave. Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? A. It's always all about sex with you, isn't it? Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice? A. Super Deluxe With Everything. Q. What do you like to put on your toast? A. Strawberry jam. TECHNOLOGY Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer? A. I don't use a wallpaper. Q. How many televisions are in your house? A: Just one. I need to get more. BIOLOGY Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed? A. Right Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? A. Wisdom teeth, tonsils, adenoids and several assorted splinters. Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted? A. The piano. I moved it to the attic and now, it seems like it might have not been such a good idea because my back hurts a little. But I have tons more space in the music room now. I think I'll move the pinball machine from the basement into it. That should make my back feel better, too. Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? A. No BULL[SHIT]OLOGY Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? A. Yes, and the time, too. I'd also like to know where I'm going. Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? A. Yeah...but all the good names are taken, so I don't know what I would pick. Q. What color looks good on you? A. Whatever color G-string the girl giving me a lap dance is wearing. It's usually black. Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A. Probably. Q. Have you ever saved someone's life? A. Not in this dimension. DAREOLOGY Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? A. No. It's fine for anyone who likes it but I couldn't do it. Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? A. No Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000? A. No way. I've been offered more than that but it's never enough. Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? A. If women were willing to pay to see me naked, I'd do it all the time. Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? A. Maybe. Q. would u whout fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? A. No. That's the end of the dares? I'm disappointed. You can do better than that. DUMBOLOGY Q: What is in your left pocket? A. Nothing. Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? A. I don't know if I've ever seen it. Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower? A: Is this a trick question? Q: Could you live with roommates? A: I had a roommate in college and I was married for eight years, so I guess you could put me down for yes. Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own? A None. Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops? A: 1983. Speeding ticket. Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? A: I don't see any advantage in growing up, so I refuse to do it. Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8 A: Niki LASTOLOGY Q: Last Friend you talked to? A: Niki Q: Last person who called u? A: Joanie Q: Person you hugged? A: Joanie...but it's not what you think. Chachi was out of town and...oh, OK, fine, it was what you think. FAVORITOLOGY Q: Number? A: 64 Q: Season? A: Pepper...Oh? Season, not seasoning? Summer, then. CURRENTOLOGY Q: Missing someone? A: Yes Q: Mood? A. Exhausted. Q: Listening to? A: Coast To Coast Q: Watching? A. This survey. Q: Worrying about? A: Everything RANDOMOLOGY Q: First place you went this morning? A: Work. Q: What can you not wait to do? A: That's a very long list. Q: What's the last movie you saw? A. I watched Casablanca again last night. ok, moving on... Q: Do you smile often? A: Yes Q: Are you a friendly person? A: Yes Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Coast To Coast AM----George Noory, WOC AM1420 (Comment on this)